I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
