I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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