i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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