Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
