ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
