If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
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The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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