I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
