too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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