I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
