My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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