at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What drink are we having for lunch?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
