So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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