She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
