is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
