I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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