when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So squirting runs in the family.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
