the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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