He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
