I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
