So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
