Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
