I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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