my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
