when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
