Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
