at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The air was thick with penises
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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