What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
