Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my being single is dangerous.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
