summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I want her autograph on my taint
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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