Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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