You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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