porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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