4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
