We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
