so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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