We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
