it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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