I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
