If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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