A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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