My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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