my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
