i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Welp...herpes.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
