i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
