so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
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I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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