We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
