I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
