Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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