You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
