I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
