i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I need water and some morals
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
