drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
