Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
