put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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